


Simple Together

by Sonny



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Season/Series 05, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-12
Updated: 2005-05-12
Packaged: 2017-10-12 18:45:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/127905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny/pseuds/Sonny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian and Michael learn to let go... the hard way... ; Centered around the song "Simple Together" by Alanis Morissette.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Simple Together

**Author's Note:**

> Ann Marie/aprilsmiles... you picked me up when I fell... and you taught me how to fly... I will never forget that... Mooches... and other mushy stuffs...

[ **SIMPLE TOGETHER** ](http://www.4shared.com/audio/spblBx9Z/Simple_Together_-_Alanis_Morri.html)

**(** _ song by Alanis Morisette _ **)**

  


_I can’t believe this... he actually gave_ _**it** _ _back to me._

Michael choked on tears as he rubbed at the soft shells, intricately woven into black rope. He had opened a drawer in his new mahogany dresser.

**********************************  
 _ **You've been my golden best friend  
Now with post-demise at hand  
Can't go to you for consolation  
Cause we're off limits during this transition  
This grief overwhelms me  
It burns in my stomach  
And I can't stop bumping into things**_  
************************************************

Michael needed to talk--needed his best friend. Right now, he wasn’t quite clear if he had one anymore. Standing still in his new master suite, in the home he now owned with Ben, he contemplated  
packing away the one thing he had selfishly given to Brian all those years ago.

" _Hey..._ "

The soft voice from outside the hallway didn’t even cause Michael to lift his head, only one eyebrow rose in curiosity.

"Yeah--?" Michael cleared his throat, throwing the worn cowrie shell bracelet into his underwear drawer. "Sorry..." He wearily wiped at his eyes, feeling the lightest of tinges in moisture. Didn’t bode well for  
him to cry in front of Ben when they were supposed to be happy in their new home.

Only Michael had no idea in how to be impressed by much when a truer sense of “home” felt so far away at this very moment. Thrown away so easily as he had just thrown the bracelet into hiding amongst his white socks and undershorts.

**********************************   
_**I thought we'd be simple together**_   
_**I thought we'd be happy together** _   
_**Thought we'd be limitless together** _   
_**I thought we'd be precious together** _   
_**But I was sadly mistaken** _   
***********************************   


Ben hung off the doorjamb. His gorgeous smile entrancing and charming. "I was gonna ask you about Thai or Korean for dinner, but--" His eyes pierced his lover’s curious look that had time to  
formulate in solitude; his head tilted along with a furrowed brow. "Are you okay?"’

Michael lifted his head to gaze directly at Ben, not sure if he could focus right now on those beautiful features. "Yup..." His voice cracked. "I’m fine. I’ll be down shortly. We can make the choice then."

"Do you need a few?" Ben grabbed the framework under his hand, his knuckles going white with fear.

Michael turned away to walk closer to the box he had been given as he had left Brian’s loft. His pained chocolate eyes zeroed in on a picture frame of he and Brian together. "… _please_..."

"I see it went as well as expected with Brian."

"Not now, Ben." Michael held back his temper, ready to pounce if Ben said one word of disgust, picking on Brian. _Shit!_ He would always defend Brian even when they were-- _what_?

Ben nodded his head, knowing Michael needed time alone. "I’ll be downstairs... when you’re ready." He was gone as quickly as he had snuck in.

Michael immediately picked up the picture frame, his thumb caressing Brian’s face. He didn’t dare look inside the box at the rest of the items, afraid of what memories they might conjure up.

Michael threw the picture - _frame and all_ \- onto the new King-sized bed he would be sharing with Ben, aiming for the piles of pillows at the headboard. He soon followed, plopping face down--unmoving and unfeeling. Like Brian had constantly wished him to feel....  


**~~ &&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~**

Brian was smoking in bed again.

Justin was showering to get ready for a night out at Babylon--maybe Woody’s first.

Was this to be Brian’s way of life from now on _without_ Michael?

Brian shot up in bed, drawing his knees to his chest. He felt his phone vibrate and immediately thought Michael was trying to call him. But looking at the LCD screen showed it wasn’t; it was Jennifer, Justin’s mother, but his-- _what_?

Cigarette dangling low, Brian had forgotten the tiny screen saver he was using on his new phone. That damn school picture of him and Michael--dorks to their cores...

****************************************  
 _ **You've been my soulmate and mentor  
I remembered you the moment I met you  
With you I knew god's face was handsome  
With you I suffered an expansion**_  
*****************************************  


Brian’s thumb gently caressed the mini-image of them together. For some reason, his chest tightened as he heard the shower shut off and a soft cough from inside the open doorway.

Justin had tried to prolong his shower in case Brian felt like joining him.

Brian didn’t feel like doing much. Not even moving as he kept staring at the picture of the fateful Dynamic Duo.

Together-- _simple_... yet... _everything in his world_...

And so easily gone in a flash as if it never was to be.

************************  
 _ **This loss is numbing me**_  
 _ **It pierces my chest  
And I can't stop dropping everything**_  
*************************************

"Hey!" Justin called from leaning against the bathroom doorframe. "Do you still want to go out?"

Brian flicked his cigarette butt off in the distance, making sure he aimed perfectly to not mar his precious linens. "Yeah, why wouldn’t I? _Party, party, party._ " He quickly got up from his lounging position on the bed. He didn’t want to give his lover any silly ideas of staying home.

No. That would've been something Michael would have--never mind.

Brian paused, his head turning away. He sighed heavily, shaking his mind clear of such silly, sentimental thoughts. He didn’t even know _who_ his best friend was anymore. He wasn't even sure if he still had one of those. How could he claim anything?

Justin stood, dripping wet and shower mist following him out from behind. A huge rust-colored towel hung low on his waist. He shrugged, running a shaking hand through his blond spikes. "So are you gonna wear what you’re wearing?"

Brian raised his eyebrows, his back to Justin. "I’d be more worried about what you’re willing to wear." He gestured toward Justin barely clad body.

"Asshole."

" _I try_ , sonnyboy... _I try_..."

"Don’t--" Justin was gonna reprimand about the idiotic nickname, but that would sound too much like a nagging wife. Right?

Brian was already down the the huge steps, heading into the living room. He strolled toward his kitchen, nearing the fridge. He hoped he would find beer, but knew that was a lost cause. Somehow his eyes picked up on some of the pictures Gus had begun to put up on the stainless steel surface of the fridge whenever he came over for a visit. Childlike drawings, some pictures with Lindsay and Melanie, and even some of Brian and Michael with Gus. The most surprisingly jolting vision was of those with baby Jenny included.

***********************************  
 _ **I thought we'd be sexy together  
Thought we'd be evolving together  
I thought we'd have children together  
I thought we'd be family together  
But i was sadly mistaken**_  
************************************

Brian tugged open the door of the fridge, dipping his head low, feeling the sting to his hazel eyes... _shit... fuck..._

_Mikey, why did we let it get this far?_

**************************************************  
 _ **If I had a bill for all the philosophies I shared  
If I had a penny for all the possibilities I presented  
If I had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air  
My wealth would render this no less severe**_  
*******************************************************

_Mikey, when did we agree to lose each other?_

***********************************  
 _ **I thought we'd be genius together  
I thought we'd be healing together  
I thought we'd be growing together  
Thought we'd be adventurous together  
But I was sadly mistaken**_  
*************************************

Standing back, leaning on his kitchen counter, Brian stared intensely at the photographic images: Michael and Gus, Michael and Jenny, Jenny and Gus, then he and Michael with their children.

All rolling into one huge image of loss... and the aches began.

Brian knew of one or two ways to control those aches.

************************************  
 _ **Thought we'd be exploring together  
Thought we'd be inspired together  
I thought we'd be flying together  
Thought we'd be on fire together  
But I was sadly mistaken**_  
************************************

Reaching into his front jean pocket, tight to his naked skin, Brian found the white pill of numbness and losing himself in the moment. Once digested, he knew he would be able to let go of the _one thing_ he once thought a permanent part of his life.

Brian swallowed the two pills-- finding it pathetic that he remembered he was used to saving one for Michael. Not tonight. He drank the rest of the beer, leaving the empty bottle on the marbled counter. He picked up his keys and his thick leather jacket. " _ **I’ll meet you outside! I'll warm the car or, uh, something!**_ " He felt momentarily dizzy, grabbing onto the wall for support. " _Lock up after you leave!_ "

Brian wanted solitude for what little time he could find it, find a few seconds to release emotions too many would deem foolish on him. He choked once or twice as he stepped up to the elevator.

It was taking too long. He chose to bolt down the stairs, needing a burst of fresh air.

And the minute he stepped outside, Brian let out the loudest bellow of human pain anyone had ever heard on his once quiet street.

**~~ &&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~**

Justin turned his head, thinking he heard something, but shook his head, going back to slapping cologne on his cheeks after he had finished shaved. "Brain, I forgot to ask you--how did your talk with--" He paused in his quick dressing as he heard the metal door shut. “... _michael go_?”

Brian Kinney--always willing to wait and be patient, for nobody and no one.

**~~ &&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~**

Carrying over the last dish to the kitchen sink, Michael stopped, momentarily pausing. He began to feel three emotions pelt him at once, but the most severe was to his heart.

_Brian, what are we doing to ourselves?_   
_What are we doing to those we say we love?_

Michael kept on walking to the sink, turning on the faucet to drown out imaginary noises that never were present in reality—in the now. Simply background noises in his head. 

**~~ &&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~**

Ben never moved once from his perch in his chair, his sole concentration on writing longhand on his new novel. His muse finally had become cooperative. A smile of wonder and bliss lay over his face. He sighed in total contentment knowing that his life couldn’t get anymore perfect even if he tried...

  


~*~ **The End.**  


 ******Read the much longer fic centered around this ficlet, ONE LAST KISS  
**


End file.
